#astarion x elf
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bvbygrl-writes · 7 days ago
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Unmasked
Pairing: Astarion x Elf!Princess! Reader
Word Count: 1.5k
Summary: After years of growing up feeling unattractive in her sisters' shadows, (Y/n) is made aware of how beautiful she actually is.
A/N: I didn't proof read this and I have not written in months so if it's a flop, it's a flop
Warnings: Astarion is a bit OOC here but shh lemme imagine
All her life, (Y/n) had been ashamed of her looks. Growing up in an elven kingdom, with six other sisters, it was obvious she never compared to them. At balls and galas, she watched from the sidelines as some of the most handsome men she had ever seen bowed before her sisters, whisking them away for a dance on the floor. Those rare times when she was afforded a chance with a suitor, it was almost always cut short by one of her sisters becoming free for another dance. It hurt her deeply, knowing she was the fallback choice every time.
When she was taken upon the mindflayer ship, although it was mostly a tragic thing to happen (given the parasite wriggling around in her mind) for the first time, she felt peace. She was away from the palace that had become like a jail overtime. There were no servants to overhear comparing her to her siblings, no balls she was forced to perform at. She could truly just be herself for the first time in a very long time.
In a situation as bad as the one they were currently in, things were almost perfect. She was a leader, using all the teachings her mother had bestowed on her to navigate situations to the best of her ability, managing to avoid fights when possible. She had companions, friends even by her side to fight when necessary. Friends who felt comfortable enough to discuss their problems, their stories, and their past. But there was always a sinking feeling of guilt she held in her stomach for one reason: Not a single one of them knew what she looked like.
Everywhere she went, (Y/n) always kept a stone mask on her face. Whether she was in battle, or preparing to end the night at camp she kept her mask on without fail. She’d eat her meals alone in her tent and only bathe once everyone had fallen asleep for the night. Her insecurities with her appearance ran so deep that she feared if anyone were to see her, they’d treat her differently. All they could see were her (e/c) eyes through the holes in the mask.
Tonight was a celebratory night. Everyone sat around the campfire, laughing and getting along. Whether it was the excellent meal Gale had prepared or the expensive wine they managed to steal from Cazador’s mansion after he was slain, spirits were high. Everyone was having a delightful time with each other. Everyone but her.
(Y/n) moved the fabric of her tent back a bit to see things more clearly, a smile hidden from the world behind the marble on her face. Her eyes were fixated on her heart’s desire, a certain undead elf who looked happier than she had seen him in ages. The crinkles by the side of his mouth as he laughed, clearly inebriated quite a bit, his defenses down. It was a rare sight to see. He looked radiant, beautiful even. She quickly pulled the ties on her tent, darkness surrounding her. 
It was stupid to even let herself dream, to let herself think she could ever be with him. He had been alive for centuries, bedded many people and with his newfound freedom, he was pleased to be with whoever he wanted, go wherever he wanted. She was lucky that he even chose to stay by her side for as long as he had, that she was the one he opened up to. After hearing of his past, the horrors he had been through, the scars on his body that would be a constant reminder of it, she found herself harbouring affection for him. It was a small thing that had grown to be more overtime. 
Many nights, when neither of them could sleep, the pair found themselves sitting up with one another, watching the sky till the sun rose. She’d observe him in awe, a silent worship as he’d stand shirtless, allowing himself to feel the sun on his skin, a luxury he hadn’t been afforded in at least a hundred years. Most of these nights were spent wordless and in many ways, they weren’t needed. They had an unspoken connection, one that she found herself always wishing to be more than what it was. Yet, she couldn’t get over that fear. The fear if she was to remove her mask, that he’d see her face and be repulsed. The thought alone was enough to keep her from trying to advance their friendship into something more. She was fortunate he’d even afford her that.
Turning away from the front of her tent, she pulled at the ribbons allowing the cool stone to fall in her lap. Her hands reached up, massaging the stiff muscles of her face, stretching open her sore jaw. Her shoulders drooped, finally being able to relax. Her stomach lurched, protesting at her loudly for the lack of food she had afforded herself until now. Reaching for her cutlery, she began to cut into the pork, letting out a moan of approval at the taste of it. The woman was more than glad she had splurged at the market for the more expensive ingredients for once. 
“You know, it’s quite bothersome that-” without thinking, her head whipped around to look at Astarion just in time to watch his crimson eyes grow wide in shock. His mouth hung open slightly, and that was the last she saw before turning around, ducking her face down into her lap. Hot tears sprung from her eyes. If she thought there was even a sliver of a chance before, there was no way in hell there was now. He had seen her face. It would be just like it was with the others back home.
“Get out! Go away now, please
” she pleaded desperately, scooting further into her tent. She heard the sound of the fabric swooshing closed but not a pair of footsteps along with it. Her bedroll made a crinkling sound with the added weight of another, a cold hand delicately placed on her shoulder. Through the cracks of her arm she could see her mask placed next to her on the right side of her body. “You’ve seen me, just go ahead and say it. Tell me how repulsive I am, that I’m unsightly.” she sniffled, sitting up with her hands covering her face.
The sound of laughter caused her to peek through her fingers, just in time to see Astarion wipe a faux tear from his face. “That truly can’t be the reason you’ve been hidden behind that mask all these months, right? You- you think you’re grotesque?” he laughed out, his eyes opening in time to see the woman drop her hands, tears in her eyes. His demeanor quickly changed to a more serious one. “Dear gods, you’re being serious, aren’t you?” Their eyes locked on one another for a moment before she quickly looked back at her lap.
“Back in my kingdom, I was the ugliest one of my six sisters. Their beauty was otherworldly, even for elves. I was constantly looked over for years of my life. They always tried to comfort me, to tell me my time would come, but it never did. I spent most of my life like a forgotten doll on a shelf.” she confessed, picking at the skin around her nail beds anxiously. 
“Well, I hate to say this, my dear, but you’ve been living a lie.” He spoke earnestly, gripping her chin to look up at him. His expression was soft, adoring even. A barely noticeable smile graced his face. “You are simply divine. It’s funny, even before seeing your face, I still found myself drawn to you. At first, I simply thought it was because there was something to gain here but after time, mainly those late nights we shared, I felt my motivations change. You set me free. Even though I was cruel and wicked to you, even when I pushed you away, you still risked your life to save mine.” his voice was raspy as he choked on his words, shifting his gaze away for a moment to collect himself. (Y/n) placed her hand over his own, squeezing it gently. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead before pulling back. “The point I am trying to make here is that I cared for you already before you took that dreadful mask off, but now? Now I’m not sure if I’ll be able to stay away. You should have rid of that thing ages ago. I
Iwant to be with you, if you’ll have me.”
(Y/n) smiled, her tears of sorrow now replaced with ones of a positive stream of overwhelming emotions. “I’d be honored. You have no idea how I’ve yearned for you to be mine, for me to be yours. We both have a lot of issues to work through but I know we can do so, together.” leaning forward, she wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. Astarion froze, the foreign soft touch catching him off guard. He hesitated for a moment before awkwardly wrapping his around her delicate frame.
“I hope you do know that I will be holding it over everyone’s head that I got to see you first! Even though it was an accident.”
“I expect nothing less from you.”
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feyflorist · 1 year ago
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average Astarion interaction
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sevrinve · 8 months ago
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Astarion x tav (elora) brainrot
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iicaru2 · 25 days ago
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astarion’s character development is incredible to me because of the sheer amount of detail and accuracy. he doesn’t change entirely as a person after he kills cazador— he mentions himself that he keeps thinking about it, even though it’s all over. which makes sense, since 200+ years of trauma isn’t going to go away after a night.
but after killing cazador, and giving up ascension, he’s so much lighter. the usual harshness he has in his tone of voice is dulled, if not entirely absent in certain dialogues. he still has a long way to go in terms of healing, but he’s finally secure enough to start that process. he’s still him, but a weight has been taken off his shoulders, so he’s finally able to live without constant hyper-vigilance, looking over his shoulder for danger.
even the way that he refers to cazador changes: in almost every instance prior to completing his personal quest, he speaks cazador’s name with hatred. viciously. afterwards, he says his name like it’s just that. a name. someone that’s gone, and inconsequential, who can’t hurt him anymore.
i think my favorite callback is that, in the conversation you have with him after long resting, whether you romanced him or not, he thanks you for talking him out of it. now that he’s out of that hell, he’s able to see just how much continuing down that pattern of abuse would have changed and ruined him. specifically, the last line he says is “this is a gift, you know. thank you - i won’t forget it.” which is the exact same line he says after you allow him to drink your blood way back in act one.
as someone with ptsd and some pretty specific trauma, astarion means quite a lot to me as a character, so i’ll always admire just how much love was put into the way he grows over the course of the game. and, of course, this is a huge reason i can never bring myself to ascend him. he’s easily earned a spot amongst my favorite fictional characters ever and i cannot stress enough how glad i am that a story like his exists.
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oonalovesastarionssimpleplan · 5 months ago
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thats what The Leg Thing Mod on Nexus looks
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pustotsvit · 1 month ago
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ancient language, speak through fingers the awful edges where you end and I begin
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nenalunes · 6 months ago
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this work has given me a clearer idea of what direction I want to go in. hope yall enjoy it, haha
im obsessed with my babies
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eryniell · 3 months ago
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Mama Karlach and sister Shadowheart approve đŸ„čđŸ’šđŸ€
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drathe · 7 months ago
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"I don't hate you. Because this is not you"
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serenbriar · 3 months ago
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I often think about how verbal consent must be such an integral part of Tav and Astarion's relationship even once they've been together for years.
It doesn't matter if his body language indicates he's eager for intimacy, Tav will still ask him "may I?", "can I?", "is it okay if I..?", "do you want to..?" even if it's quite clear. Even after all that time, they want to remind him that he's in control, to make it known that they'll never do anything he doesn't want.
Often, he might eagerly accept, or even beg for them, but other times he might say no. And when he does say no, he never ever fears his boundaries being crossed, because he trusts Tav entirely to respect his body. He feels safe with them, safe to say no, knowing that the word has power here where it didn't so many times before.
Even after years, he might think to himself that they don't need to ask during moments of passion, that it's quite clear when he does and doesn't want intimacy, but it still brings him comfort when they do.
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angivarrrre · 4 months ago
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6. ASCENSION
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bloodsuckingfiends · 4 months ago
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Pressing soft kisses to the unmarked side of Astarion’s neck, traveling lower, sucking lightly at his collarbones. Mouth making his skin shiny with saliva. He knows what’s coming. Anticipates it with a whine on his lips.
Your finger trails up over his taut abdomen, moving higher to circle around a nipple that hardens at your light touch. Lips descending down over his chest to wrap around his opposite nipple, laving at the bud, as he finally gasps and whimpers, hips bucking up into yours.
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the-case-book-of-fanfiction · 4 months ago
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When Gods Listen
Ship: Astarion Ancunin x female!Durge/reader
Summary: Astarion is hit by a memory spell mid-combat. You fear what will happen to him, but Astarion only knows he woke with the answer to his prayers looking down at him.
Word Count: 6,162 words
Warnings: post Astarion's first romance scene, descriptions of battle, Astarion's past, typical Durge thoughts, temporary memory loss, temporary amnesia, Gale being helpful, vampire feeding, a cliche 'oh. oh.' moment, kissing, unspoken confession
Note: Reader is based on my drow half-ef Durge, Nixu, but remains from the second-person perspective with only brief & vague mention of her appearance. My first time writing Durge (resisting), so let me know what you think!
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☟ Continue below the fold ☟
How long had you been fighting? Ten minutes? An hour? Gods, you didn't know. You couldn't focus on anything other than the weapon in your hand, the number of arrows in your quiver, and the spells you had prepared. Letting your focus stray to your companions had already cost you, proven by the blood running down your arm and the claws that had torn your pants to shreds.
Need new armor, you thought as you slammed a dagger into a goblin's throat. The creature gurgled and clawed at your hands, leaving behind red scratches, until you yanked out the blade. The goblin fell to the blood-soaked ground with a wet thud.
Shadowheart screamed behind you. You heard the snarl of a wolf and turned to find one lunging for her, the cleric frozen in fear. You reached for your bow; Gale was faster, sending a Fire Bolt at the wolf. It snarled and turned on Gale.
You strung an arrow to your bow. You had four left, including this one. Your shot would have to be incredibly precise if you didn't want to get any closer to the wolf; you didn't have enough arrows for do-overs.
Taking aim, you drew back your string, taking a deep breath. Easy does it, you told yourself.
The wolf's body tensed. It sat back on its haunches, ready to lunge for Gale. He was in the middle of preparing a spell; it wouldn't be ready by the time the wolf's jaws were around his throat.
An arrow flew directly into the wolf's jugular. You blinked. Had you loosed your arrow? No. It remained in your fingers, notched to your bowstring.
Your eyes sought out the arrow's source and landed on a pair of red eyes creeping out of the shadows. Astarion slipped out of hiding, his face stony. He held his own bow. He stared down the wolf until it collapsed with a pitiful whine.
Both Gale and Shadowheart turned to other enemies, knives flashing and spells meeting their targets.
There was a horrid howl from somewhere on the battlefield. You whirled toward the sound and found an irate human hurrying down the rocky hill. You guessed the howl had been the wolf's name, then, and this was its owner.
"Astarion!" you shouted. "Behind you!" You pointed in the direction of the approaching human—a wizard, by the looks of her.
Astarion turned and dropped into a crouch. She began summoning a spell; you recognized it as a memory spell. Temporary, but all-encompassing. Before Astarion could hide, the spell hit him square in the chest.
Dread coiled in your stomach. Astarion stumbled backwards, a hand coming to touch his chest. Then his body went rigid. You weren't close enough to see it, but you knew his eyes had glazed over.
Astarion glanced around, clearly confused as to how he had ended up in a battle.
"Shit," you muttered.
He'd be easy to kill in this state, you thought. All too easy to stab in the brain and watch the blood run into his eyes. Ugly desire curled through your stomach, a desperate need to gut him from the inside out settling in your chest.
You blinked and the urge was gone. You glanced around you, expecting your butler, but he was nowhere to be seen.
Gods, why can't the urges be something simple, like wanting him whimpering beneath me again?
You started toward Astarion. Goblins swarmed you. You cast a poison spray across them and cut them down as quickly as you could. You looked up to find the wizard whispering in Astarion's ear. He turned toward Gale and Shadowheart, expressed pulled into confusion.
A goblin clawed at you, trying to climb your legs. You shook it off and slammed your knee into its face. You looked up again and found Astarion with an arrow pointed at Shadowheart's back. You shouted a warning.
"What the hells is he doing?!" she shouted.
Gale frowned at Astarion. "Amnesia," he said. "She messed with his memory."
All eyes widened in horror as the woman gave Astarion an order: "Kill." He loosed his arrow and Shadowheart just narrowly dodged it. Astarion readied another.
"He's under her command," Gale said.
You jumped to a higher vantage point. "Can we stop the spell?"
"Not the memory spell, that will take time to fade," he reasoned, "but if we kill her, she can't command him to kill us."
"Great," you said. "Now I have a plan."
The wizard shrieked with laughter. She turned around, her hands spread, a sneer on her face. "You'll never kill me," she snarled. "I'm far more powerful than—"
She fell with a thud, your arrow buried in her heart. You jumped to the ground and looked down at her where she lay, gurgling and glaring at you. You cocked your head. "You should know better than to expose yourself to attack, wizard. Now I will make your head a statement piece."
Without thinking, you drew your knife. Yet you froze when you heard Gale give a shout. You looked up and found an arrow—one of Astarion's—in his shoulder. The wizard could make no more orders, but her last command was still standing. He was still attacking the others.
"No time for that now," you said to the corpse. You left it where it lay and ran toward Astarion. As you got closer, you realized he looked incredibly confused about having shot Gale.
Gravel crunched under your feet, sliding out from underneath you. You slipped to a halt in front of him. "Astarion? You okay?"
He flinched as your hand came to rest on his shoulder. He shrugged off your touch. "Who the hell are you?" he demanded.
"I'm..." The words died on your lips. What were the two of you? Gods knew there wasn't really a label for whatever it was the two of you had. Would he even believe it if you tried to explain it, while the memory spell lasted? "I'm your friend. We met on the road. We stuck together with Gale and Shadowheart here and the others back at camp to get rid of the tadpoles."
Astarion looked at you, studying you with a gaze as guarded as it had been when you'd first met him. "I don't..."
"You've been hit by a memory spell, a very powerful one," you told him, resisting the urge to grab his hand. "It's given you temporary amnesia."
"Why are we fighting?" he rasped. "I... I don't know who to... She told me to fight you." He glanced back at the body. He seemed to be panicking a little now. "But then you killed her and now I... I don't want to kill you anymore."
"You don't have to," you promised. "You don't have kill us, Astarion, we're your friends."
"No, not them," he said. "Just you."
He raised his bow, an arrow already prepared and aimed for Gale's heart. You grabbed the bow, wrenching it from his hands and throwing it to the ground. He growled, deep and animalistic. His eyes flashed a brighter red and his lip pulled back from his fangs. They dripped with saliva.
Such a pretty monster, you thought. It will be a shame to rip out his heart.
But you didn't follow your urge. Instead, you slammed the pommel of your dagger into the side of his head. His eyes rolled back into his head and he crumpled to the ground.
Gale shouted at you, utterly horrified. "What was that for?"
"He was going to kill you," you said. "I don't think there's anything we could have said that would stop him." You glared across the battlefield. "Let's deal with the rest of this and get him back to camp."
Shadowheart yanked the arrow out of Gale's shoulder and healed him quickly. You watched his skin knit back together with a strange fascination that tingled beneath your own skin, like you'd felt it before...
The rest of the goblins and wolves felt like they took no time at all. You were aware, of course, that your sense of time was disrupted by your worry; every so often, you cast a look toward Astarion's crumpled body, passed out but corpse-like for his lack of breathing. A discomforting desire shuddered through you at the sight.
He is my friend, you told the need in your gut that told you to kill him twice over. He trusts me. I will not hurt him.
Yet you weren't so sure you could trust yourself to keep that promise.
When enemies finally stopped swarming, you went back to the wizard's corpse. You dug through her pockets for anything useful. You found several amulets imbued with powerful magic and plenty of scrolls. You took her weapons without much thought; you could inspect them later, but you had more important matters to begin with.
"Is he alright?" Gale asked as you knelt beside Astarion.
"He should be," you said. "I didn't hit him that hard."
"Something tells me he won't be too pleased about that when he wakes up," Shadowheart said.
"If he remembers it, that is," Gale said. The wizard sounded the most worried you'd ever heard him. "That was a powerful memory adjustment spell."
You frowned. "It is temporary, isn't it?"
"I certainly hope so. For his sake and for ours," Gale replied. "Here. Let's get him back to camp. It's too dangerous to continue on with him like this."
Gale cast a levitation spell and Astarion's body rose. His face was obscenely peaceful and it dawned on you just how tortured he usually looked when he tranced. You cocked your head, wondering just how deep that memory spell was going.
A hand fell on your arm. "Is everything alright?" Shadowheart asked.
"I'm fine," you said. "Just thinking." You cleared your throat, tearing your eyes away from Astarion's slack face. "Come on. We've got a lot of ground to cover, and not a lot of daylight left."
~❊~
Astarion felt like he was...swimming? Maybe. Everything was fuzzy. His mind felt bizarrely empty and way too full at the same time. He saw nothing through his heavy, closed eyelids. Try as he might, he couldn't get them to open.
A sense of urgency was sitting in his chest. He had something to do, didn't he? He'd been...
The feeling of whatever it was, of holding something light and curved, of pulling his arm back and letting go, disappeared back into the murk.
Frustration bloomed in Astarion's mind. What was going on? Was this a trick of Cazador's?
Oh, there! That was...something. A person? Yes, an unpleasant person. Someone he was rather upset to have remembered, even if it meant at least there was something in this useless head of his.
A vile taste filled Astarion's mouth, like rat's blood and salty bodily fluids. Somehow, Astarion knew it was because of the person he despised so completely. Yet how?
Sudden hunger curled through Astarion's stomach. He groaned, clutching at his stomach. I have to hunt, he thought, but he still couldn't get his eyes open. Trying only pushed him further into the thick, liquid blackness that surrounded him.
Help, Astarion tried to say. His mouth remained closed. Someone help, someone get me out of here. Gods, please, get me out!
The silence of his mind answered him.
Astarion whimpered, curling into a ball. I'm so hungry, Master, he whined, but only one rough word came out, nearly lost in his throat. Once again, he was dragged back into darkness.
~❊~
"Astarion's not doing so hot."
Karlach's voice roused you from the thoughts swimming in your head. You sat back on your haunches, somewhat surprised to see the weapons you'd been sorting through from today's battles still in front of you in a heap. Had you gotten so lost in your thoughts you'd stopped working?
Never mind that, tend to the pretty corpse, you told yourself. You stood up, ignoring the saliva gathering on your tongue. "How so?"
"He's tossing and turning, groaning in his sleep," she said, chewing on her nails, glancing in the direction of the trancing elf.
"I'll check on him," you said.
You walked across camp toward Astarion's tent. When you'd gotten back to camp, Shadowheart had thought it wisest to keep him in view of everyone, just in case something went wrong, so Astarion currently lay on your own bedroll in front of his tent.
You could see Astarion's sleep had become fitful. He had tossed and turned so much that he'd thrown off the blanket he took everywhere that you'd put over him. His hair was beyond messy. His eyebrows were pinched together and he was panting unnecessarily.
A soft groan slipped past his lips as he rolled to one side, desperately hugging his arms to his stomach. You cocked your head. Was his hunger causing him to stir?
"At least we know I didn't kill him knocking him out," you said.
Karlach opened her mouth but was interrupted by Astarion's whimper. The two of you both looked at him again, concerned. "Master," he rasped.
Your body stiffened. You had a sudden need to keep Karlach away, sure these babblings were not something Astarion would want anyone to hear.
Why are you not also leaving him be? you asked yourself. You decided against answering that question.
"I'll keep an eye on him," you promised her.
Karlach gave you a curious look, then nodded. She turned away and headed back across camp.
You sat down beside Astarion. You peered down at him, his face fixed into an expression of pain.
Poor creature, you thought.
Astarion gave another whine of hunger, curling into the fetal position. Your own face pinched into an expression of sympathy. You took your dagger from its sheath and pricked your finger on it. With your free hand, you held open Astarion's mouth, then hovered your bleeding finger over it.
Achingly slowly, the blood dripped into Astarion's mouth.
~❊~
Food.
A sharp, iron tang filled his senses. He could smell it, so close he was sure if he could just convince his body to move through the sluggish black around him that he would be able to taste it—
Blood hit his tongue, the taste of a single droplet bringing saliva that coated his jaws. Another drop followed. One after the other, droplets of blood collected on his tongue. Somehow, he found it within himself to swallow.
Astarion knew this blood. The taste was oddly familiar, though it wasn't part of his regular diet. No, this was not the blood of bugs and rats—this was the blood of a thinking creature. One he'd feasted from before.
Master will torture me for this, he thought. Master will write more poetry on my skin.
But Astarion no longer found it in him to care. As more blood dripped into his mouth, he swallowed it down with enthusiasm.
Strength returned to his limbs. The hunger that plagued him constantly began to subside, easing into something bearable. Old aches and pains disappeared.
There you go, Astarion, a female voice said. She sounded close—and worried. Just drink. It will help.
Astarion obeyed on instinct. He knew this voice. It was uncannily familiar, the kind of voice he'd listen to for hours just to keep hearing it. Yet...where had he heard it? Was this a victim, coming back to haunt his memories? It certainly wasn't one of his sisters...
With a full belly, restlessness took over. Astarion quickly grew bored of the dark surrounding him. He shifted, the movement slowly bringing him back into his body. He huffed impatiently.
Are you coming back to me? the voice asked, accompanied by a soft touch on his cheek. A brief moment of silence followed, then— You're scaring the others, Little Star.
Astarion tensed. That name. No one called him that. His siblings knew better and his victims never got close enough, so...
A hand slipped into his hair. Panic took over. Astarion's scalp tingled. He anticipated pain to follow.
Something within him snapped—
~❊~
Astarion's eyes opened the same time the thread within him grew too taut. He lurched upward, a snarl on his lips. He bared his teeth, prepared to rip out the throat of whomever had touched him—
"Easy!" It was the same voice. The hand left his hair and pushed him back to the ground. A figure appeared over him. "It's just me!"
The voice stopped him. Astarion let himself be pushed back down—surprisingly gently, with only one hand on his shoulder. He focused on the figure above him and slowly your features come into focus.
You're...beautiful. Your hair has been pulled out of the way, leaving the concern and worry on your face clear to his eyes. Your eyes were wide, but you didn't seem to be afraid of him. In fact, the look on your face suggested you know his dangers all too well.
You were the answer to every prayer he'd always been too scared to voice.
Slowly, Astarion relaxed. You looked instantly relieved.
"It's me," you said again, calmer now. "Do you remember me yet?"
You lifted your hand to his cheek. Astarion could smell the blood on it—the same blood he'd just tasted. He turned toward it and saw the small slice in your finger.
"You fed me?" he asked.
You nodded. "Of course I did, Astarion."
Astarion flinched. "How do you know my name?"
Disappointment flickered in your eyes. "I'll take that as a no," you sighed. Only then did Astarion realize you'd asked him a question. "We travel together, Star. With our friends. So that we can get the tadpoles out of our heads?" You spoke slowly, trying to give him time to catch up.
But Astarion didn't recognize anything—except for the smell of your blood, which seemed so innate to him, beyond the taste of it on his tongue.
"I— I'm sorry, I don't know," he whispered.
"Nothing sounds familiar?" you asked. When he shook his head again, your disappointment showed on your face for a moment. You hid it quickly with your next breath, but Astarion saw it. "That's alright. It'll come back to you."
Fear suddenly wrapped its claws around his heart. "Will it?"
"Yes," you said firmly. "It will. I promise, Star." You took his hand in yours and squeezed gently. "And I'll be with you until you do remember."
A thousand questions swirled in his mind. Who were you? What had he done to deserve your kindness? How could you be so certain that he would recover?
Deep in his heart, he wondered if he even wanted to recover. The bits and pieces floating around inside his head... They were not pleasant. And yet, all he could think to ask was, "Why?"
You smiled softly at him, almost regretfully. You were silent for a long time, avoiding his gaze. Your hair just barely covered your eyes; Astarion could not make out your expression. At last, you raised your head toward him. "If you were in your right mind, you'd know." The muscle in your jaw feathered. In a hushed voice, you added, "Honestly, that scares me more than this."
Astarion's eyes narrowed. He felt like he was missing something, something obvious. You were hiding something, but he couldn't fathom what or why...
You turned away from his intense, questioning gaze. "Rest. I'll be here when you wake up." You pulled a knife from its sheath on your boot and a rag from your pocket. You began polishing it.
Astarion watched you for some time, entranced by the methodic way you cleaned your weapons, pausing to inspect the shine of the blade. It did not take long for the drowsy blackness to seep into the edges of his consciousness, taking over with every blink. Soon, there was nothing left but...
~❊~
You weren't entirely certain when Astarion had dozed off, just that you had suddenly felt the loss of his gaze. You glanced at him, his body still on your bedroll.
A few moments passed while you watched him. Once you were certain he was deep in his trance, you left his side to collect a handful of herbs and a water flask.
You measured out the herbs and tied them off in a mesh pouch. You steeped them in the cold water and watched the color change achingly slowly. Only when it had reached a greenish-yellow color did you gently reopen the bloody spot on your finger, hissing as the skin split again, and let your blood drip into the mixture.
You stared down at it, watching the blood sink to the bottom of the bowl. The herbs, meant to help improve memory, ought to do something for his memory loss... Or so you hoped.
With Astarion still trancing, you left the herbs to steep. You returned to your own tent briefly to retrieve a book to read while you waited for him to wake.
The evening passed surprisingly slowly. You got through several chapters before you were interrupted by a gentle tap on your shoulder. You looked up to find Gale offering you a plate of food.
"Thank you, Gale," you said, accepting it after you'd put your book down. "How's the arm?"
"You're welcome. All healed up, thanks to Shadowheart," he said. He glanced at your mixture. "Is that for Astarion?"
You nodded. "It's a bunch of herbs to help improve memory. I was thinking it might speed up the 'temporary' part of the wizard's spell."
He thought for a moment. "I have a few spells that might help," he said. "Pass me the bowl."
You did so and watched curiously as Gale muttered a few quiet incantations over the mixture. When he passed the bowl back to you, the water faintly glowed lavender.
"That should help," he said.
"What did you do?" you asked, frowning. You hadn't recognized any of his mutterings.
Gale bit back a smile. "Those spells should increase the herbs' potency. It will strengthen the potion, and our elf's ability to retain his memory."
For a moment, you just stared at him. Then you said, "You have to teach me those spells."
Gale smiled. "Anytime," he promised. He nodded to the plate he'd given you. "Eat. You need your strength, too."
You nodded and ate quickly. Astarion shifted in his trance, mumbling quietly. You glanced at him and heaved a sigh when you realized he was, once again, clutching his stomach.
"You are a pain to feed when you can't bite me," you said to him before once again opening your finger and letting your blood drip into his mouth. Yet you weren't nearly as annoyed as you sounded; you honestly didn't mind caring for the elf. Gods knew he deserved it.
You returned to your book until night fell. The others came to check on you and Astarion before they retired. Wyll put out the campfire and you looked at the vampire still knocked out on your bedroll.
"Guess we're sharing again," you murmured to him and wriggled into your bedroll. You got cozy, comforted by his presence, despite everything. You rolled to put your back to him, but whispered over your shoulder, "Good night, Astarion."
~❊~
Astarion woke up very suddenly, a scream in his throat. He covered his mouth with a hand before it could come out. He lay that way for several moments, trying to calm the sense of panic in him from yet another nightmare of his master, before he realized he was not in his tent. Or any tent.
His head rolled to the right, toward the heat next to him and the scent of you. You had curled up beside him, your back to him, some distance between the two of you. For some reason, his heart sank. Why hadn't you cuddled up close to him?
Bits and pieces of memory hit him with a pounding headache: something slamming into his chest, loosing an arrow from his bow into Gale's shoulder, waking up and lunging for you, watching you sharpen your knives...
Gods, what had happened over the past few days. When had they left that battlefield?
Astarion glanced at your sleeping form again. A deep ache sat in his chest; he wanted... Gods, did he really? He wanted to hold you. He wanted you in his arms.
For her heat, he told himself as he rolled onto his side and closer to you, draping his arm over your middle. He ignored the fact that his explanation did not cover the little kiss he pressed to the nape of your neck.
You stirred in your sleep. "Little Star?" you murmured, pushing back against his chest.
"Don't wake up," he murmured. "I'm here."
He watched a sweet, sleepy smile cross your face. "It worked," you mumbled. You hand came up to slide into his and squeeze gently.
Astarion frowned. "What worked?"
You rolled to face him, even though your eyes remained closed. "I'll tell you in the morning," you said. You yawned and nuzzled your face in his chest, apparently happy to hide in the fabric of his shirt and his scent. You hummed. "My pretty little death."
There you were with your strange little sayings. Astarion raised his eyebrow, assuming you'd caught a whiff of his (albeit faint) odor of death. "Do I need more perfume?"
"No," you said, quite adamantly. "Smells good."
Astarion bit back a giddy, boyish smile. "If you say so." He put his hand into your hair, fingers scratching your scalp gently. You hummed contentedly and, within seconds, fell back asleep against him.
He wrapped his other arm around you as well, pressing you close to him. A twinge of hunger passed through him, but he ignored it; while you had told him plenty of times he could feed while you slept, he'd rather wait until the morning than risk waking you again.
Too alert to fall back to sleep, Astarion looked down at you. He brushed a few strands of your hair from your face, reveling in the softness of your hair and skin. He brushed his thumb across your cheekbone, content to admire you until his eyes got tired of you. Truthfully, he wasn't sure that day would ever come.
"Oh, you," he murmured. He kissed the top of your head and you lifted your head toward him while you slept, turning your face toward him. Like a sunflower seeking the sun, he thought, a very old distant memory surfacing—his tiny hand in a bigger one, belonging to someone telling him to look at the big yellow flowers in front of him...
He was your sun. And you were...his.
Something in his chest stirred. It wasn't quite a heartbeat, but it was very close: a fluttering in his heart, truly awakening for the first time. A shuddering breath escaped Astarion's lips.
Oh.
Through the fuzz of the past few hours, Astarion dimly remembered you smiling at him, soft and sad and unsure, sorrow in your voice as you said, If you were in your right mind, you'd know. Honestly, that scares me more than this.
And Astarion did know. He did.
Oh.
"My darling," Astarion murmured, shifting to curl his body around yours. You responded in your sleep, clinging tightly to him. He kissed your cheek and then rested his head against yours, watching the sky and patiently waiting for the sun to rise.
For the first time in two hundred years, the gods had finally listened.
~❊~
Your body registered the warmth of the sun before you fully woke. It spread through you, spreading a lazy comfort through you. You slipped between peaceful sleep and fuzzy wakefulness for some time before lips roused you completely.
Tiny kisses covered your cheeks and nose. A hand cupped your cheek. "Wake up, my love," a soft voice said. Your heart warmed and your eyes flickered open. Astarion!
His crimson eyes crinkled with a smile when you looked at him. "There she is," he whispered, fonder than you had ever heard him.
"You're back," you murmured, overjoyed to be his love again but desperately tamping the feeling down. He would certainly see it now if you were not careful to hide your heart.
"What happened?" he asked. "I remember fighting goblins, but nothing else until I woke up to you avoiding me in your sleep." His tone was teasing, but there was something else there—some little bit of vulnerability. Your heart began to beat faster in your chest.
You propped your head up on your hand. "It's a long story, Star."
"Tell it to me while I feed," he suggested, already shifting to perform your morning ritual.
You rolled onto your opposite side and exposed your neck to him, sweeping your hair out of the way. "Alright," you said, barely suppressing a shudder as his lips brushed your skin, leaving a soft, yearning kiss.
What has gotten into him today? you wondered.
Astarion finally sunk his teeth into your neck. You let him take one, two, three swallows of your blood before you began talking. You spared no details, telling him what had happened since he'd been hit with a memory spell as steadily as you could with him sucking at your neck.
When he was finished, Astarion licked over the holes in your neck until they stopped bleeding.
"Thank you," he said, uncharacteristically quiet. "For the meal and for staying with me. I can't imagine it was easy work."
You looked up at him, entranced by the flush on his cheeks. You reached up to cup his face, admiring him for a moment before snapping out of your daze. "No, it...it was fine. It was..." You.
A smile twitched at the corners of his lips. Your heart sank into your stomach. He knows. Gods, he knows how I feel.
Astarion took your chin in his hand and lifted your head. He brushed his thumb over your bottom lip. He looked at you with that sweet, fond look in his eyes for a moment. Then they fluttered shut as he leaned down, pressing his lips against yours.
Your surprise melted quickly into content as his thumb stroked your jaw instead. He tasted vaguely of iron; arousal fluttered through you, your urge only growing more powerful at the taste of your lifeblood on his tongue. Yet it slipped away as Astarion cuddled closer to you, sheltering within your arms, his lips never leaving yours. His soft, barely audible moans, were like an epic poem, his kiss a balm to the worry that had been building in your chest.
He feels it, too.
You broke away for a moment of air. "Astarion," you whispered and he let out a feral growl, chasing your lips eagerly. But for all his eagerness, it was not the kisses he gave you before he ravaged you. He was softer, slower. You felt the promise he was making you in that moment.
The kiss went on. The dynamic changed slowly; his fangs scraped across your lips—his tongue slipped into your mouth—your tongue into his—he suckled on your lower lip—you gently held his lip between your teeth—your fingers curled in his hair—his hand on your neck.
You let Astarion decide when he was done, happy to kiss him slowly. Your hand fell to his chest and rested above his unbeating heart. He hummed into your mouth.
When he did finally pull away, his cheeks were delightfully red, the tips of his ears pink. His eyes fluttered. A slow, content smile formed on his lips.
You kissed his forehead. He turned a deeper shade of red. "Thank you, my Star."
Astarion nuzzled into you. "Darling..." He dropped his mouth to your neck, once again kissing his feeding place. "I don't want to stop."
You smiled. "So don't."
Astarion was kissing you again in an instant, his hands cupping your face, cradling you close. You melted into him, giving control over to your pretty corpse.
You were interrupted by a throat clearing above you just as a shadow fell over the two you. Your lips parted from Astarion's as you both looked up, somewhat guiltily.
Lae'zel stood above you, already ready to move on. "Unstick your maws," she ordered with a snort. "We must go." She left as quickly as she had arrived, but watching after her made it clear the rest of camp had also been watching the two of you.
"Maws," Astarion mused.
"She's right," you said, sitting up. "We should get ready."
Astarion caught your hand and pressed a tender kiss to your fingers. "Alright, my love."
The two of you slipped out of the bedroll. You helped Astarion fix his hair, mussed by sleep and your hands, and then the two of you packed up your belongings quickly to catch up with the others. You hadn't realized just how much time had passed while you got lost with him.
"Good morning!" Gale said cheerily, striding over, a twinkle in his eye. "I see Astarion's regained his memory!"
You glanced up in time to see Astarion blush and give Gale the universal look that meant 'shut up' and realized Gale had known all along. When had the two of them gotten close enough for that? Or was Gale just very good at reading people?
"I have," Astarion said coolly, recovering. "Our lovely leader here has filled me in on what happened while I was...indisposed." He looked awkward for a moment, then continued, "I apologize for shooting you, wizard."
"Apology accepted," Gale said matter-of-factly. He lifted his arm to prove it had healed. "No harm done!"
You finished up with your packing. "Where are we off to today?" you asked Gale. "Have the others decided?"
He pulled a face. "Everyone's got their own ideas," he said tactfully. "I think it'd be best if you decided what we handled first."
You sighed. "You mean that Shadowheart and Lae'zel are trying to kill each other, and I have to stop them and take the heat from whoever I piss off more."
Gale winced. "Yes, something like that."
"Alright. I'll be right there."
Gale nodded and started back toward where the others were gathered. You watched him go with a sigh.
"Is that why Lae'zel interrupted us?" Astarion asked. "Because if she thinks that's a way to gain favor, she's most certainly wrong."
You giggled at him. "Did someone want to keep kissing?"
He tried to hold your gaze, but looked away as his ears turned pink again. "Maybe," he muttered.
You kissed his cheek. "Later," you promised. You offered him your hand. "Come on. Let's get this sorted."
"Alright, my love," he said—a new phrase of his, it seemed—and took your hand. For a moment, he just looked at you, like there was something he wanted to say. You paused.
"What is it?" you asked.
He shook his head, a tiny smile on his lips now. "Nothing." You raised your eyebrow. "We'll talk about it later."
You nodded. "Alright."
You walked toward your bickering companions. Lae'zel was muttering about the creche, Shadowheart adamantly refusing not to go, with Wyll and Karlach trying to placate them both. At least those two weren't still at each other's throats.
The minute Shadowheart saw you, she darted over. "We have to get to the Temple of Shar," she started. "We made so much progress before we reached the goblins—"
"Chk! Our top priority should be the creche—"
Shadowheart glared at the githyanki. "We are not going to the creche!"
"We are going to neither place just yet, and you are both staying here in camp until you learn to get along," you said sharply. You saw Astarion smirk out of the corner of your eye. "Gale, Karlach, you'll come with me and Astarion. We'll see how far we can get and make a decision from there."
Karlach pulled a face. "Are you two going to kiss all day?" she complained.
You rolled your eyes. "That depends on how much you annoy me. Now, come on. I'd like to get going. And for the love of all, can we please avoid memory spells?"
Gale bit back a smile. "Are you certain? It seems to me you've gotten something rather good out of it." He glanced down at your fingers, still twined with Astarion's.
You glanced at Astarion. "Yes," you agreed. "And he is enough for me." You kissed his cheek again. For only his ears, you whispered, "I mean that, you know."
He smiled at you. "I know."
"Good," you said. You kissed him quickly.
You waited for Gale and Karlach to get what they needed with your head resting on Astarion's shoulder. You knew as well as any that you were far from steady; you still had much to talk about. You looked up at Astarion and found a far-off look in his eyes, one that looked a little too much like sorrow for your liking.
Astarion's "nothing" was looking an awful lot like "something."
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Baldur's Gate 3 // Astarion Ancunin
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brabblesblog · 1 year ago
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I hope you die screaming.
One-shot, angst/comfort, astarion/f!tav
After you refuse to help Astarion ascend, he leaves you with a venomous goodbye. Unfortunately the vampire has to come back to get his things.
The idea was to mix up the warding bond rings, Astarion’s final words if you refuse to help him, and Tav suffering and dying (not permanently!) in his absence.
Read on AO3.
Masterlist.
It had been a miserable few days of being alone in Baldur’s Gate, without most of his possessions, but Astarion was loathe to go back to the Elfsong. For one, he wasn’t sure exactly what he’d be there to do. To grab his things and go? A possibility, but not what he would rather do. To get on his knees and ask you to take him back? What he really wanted to do, but the chance of you forgiving him was slim, and he couldn’t face that rejection. So he stayed near the tavern, torn between showing himself and walking away yet again, when the ring on his finger pulsed with a strange magic and the ward protecting him dissipated from his body.
He had known you were still protecting him through the paired rings even as he stormed out of Cazador’s palace. The soft, pleasant feeling of the ward had not disappeared at all, and it had proven quite useful once or twice when he inadvertently offended someone enough for them to attempt to stab him. He didn’t get a lot of injuries - only minor cuts and scrapes - so as much as he felt guilty he figured you would be more than capable of handling it. In any case, should you want, you could just take off the rings, he reasoned.
So when the ward fell away right now, he huffed a bit and took the ring off. You must’ve finally remembered he had the other one, and there was no longer any point protecting him, after everything.
After what he said.
He entered the tavern and sat in a corner, waiting for your group to come back. He’d decided to come get his things. Without the ward’s protection, he would need his potions and armor to survive solo.
Soon enough, the door burst open and Gale came stumbling in. The gore and blood on his robes was normal enough, but his expression wasn’t. The man looked ashen and pale, and he immediately ran to the stairs. “Shadowheart! Come here. Now!”
Before the vampire could even put down the goblet he was holding, Halsin came in, something bundled in his arms. The air that wafted through hit Astarion, and he almost choked on it: blood. Your blood. A lot of it. He watched with wide eyes as Halsin carried the bloody bundle in his arms. It was a body, that much was obvious, but they had wrapped it in blankets. The fabric was stained everywhere, but it pooled the most where the chest would be. Halsin dipped his head and gently placed a kiss on the head of the body, and as he did so the blanket covering the face fell away. Astarion’s heart, if he still had one, would have stopped as he saw the face underneath the blankets. Yours.
He immediately stood up, heading towards Halsin. The larger elf saw him and let him approach, his expression one of sorrow.
“Halsin? What- is she
” he closes the distance. Your eyes are closed, as if you were sleeping. He knows it, knows he can’t hear your heartbeat and can’t see you breathe, but he still reaches out to cup your cheek. Cold, as cold as his hands were. He chokes back a scream that threatens to bubble from his throat.
Halsin moves, slowly climbing the stairs. “Come, Astarion. I shall explain.” As he made his way to your bed, he talked. “She hasn’t been well since your departure, but that is to be expected. We had a fight with the Steel Watch. She was a little too slow, too tired, and they won.”
Astarion growls. “You should all have protected her! Did you all cower when-“
“No.” Halsin rounds on him, eyes glinting with what was almost like anger. “We all have our injuries. We all tried our best. We weren’t the ones who left her.”
He laid you down on your bed, grabbing a wet cloth to clean your wounds. Astarion gripped the elf’s wrist. “Why aren’t you using a scroll to revive her?!”
He sighed. “You might not remember, Astarion, but the scrolls were all in your bag when you left.”
Shit. He had forgotten. He quickly rummaged through it, finding one. He saw Shadowheart approach and asked her for some healing potions as well. While everyone was preparing, Halsin kept cleaning your body up. Astarion scowled and grabbed his own wet towel, gently trying to clean around the hole in your chest. He winced at the amount of blood he saw as he tried to peel off the bloody shirt, then paused as he realized it was his camp shirt. Biting back the urge to scream, he kept working.
Shadowheart came back with several bottles of the potion, and they got to work. Halsin used the scroll, and as he did the vampire began pouring the potions down your throat. It didn’t take long for him to hear your heart start to beat again, and he exhaled roughly as he poured more bottles, just to be sure. He watched the color flood back into your face as you healed, unable to stop some tears from falling.
A hand gripped his shoulder and he turned to see Gale. The wizard sighed. “I’m surprised to see you here,” he said dryly. “Seems like you got your wish,” he said bitterly, gesturing to you.
Astarion bared his fangs and got up, ready to tear him from limb to limb. Halsin barely had enough time to stand between the two men. “There is no point to fighting each other. What’s done is done. And she’s doing better now.”
Gale sighed. He nodded at Halsin, then at Astarion. “I suppose the druid is right. You’ll still have some explaining to do, but it can wait.” He leaves to see Shadowheart to tend to his own injuries. After a moment, so does Halsin, squeezing Astarion’s hand in solidarity as he left.
Astarion continues his ministrations, weeping openly now that no one was here. He leaned forward, kissing your forehead. When you were clean, he puts you in your nightclothes, then wraps you up in his blankets. It doesn’t escape his notice that you’ve moved into his bed, his things still there, as though you were waiting for his return. He sleeps there that night, wraps himself around you, the sound of your soft breathing something he sorely missed.
You wake up a few hours later. Your head pounds, but when you open your eyes, it is blessedly dark. The last thing you remember was a steel watch monstrosity’s blade coming straight through you. You take a breath, nuzzling the blankets. They still smell like him, and you worry that soon the smell will fade. Then there would be nothing left of the man you loved. Well, other than his clothes-
Wait. His clothes. You run a hand down your chest, wincing at the movement. You realize you’re in your own camp clothes. It must’ve been torn in the fight, ruined by the gore. A soft cry escapes your lips. It felt all too much like losing him again. You whimper, helpless. Every movement was pain, but the most painful thing even now was your heart.
You suddenly realize you’re not alone on the bed. An arm sweeps across, wrapping securely around your waist. Someone nuzzles you, shushing your cries. In the darkness you can barely see, but the scent and the temperature of said arm hits you.
“As-Astarion?”
He swallows nervously. “Darling. I
 I’m here.” He can see your face in the dark, eyes wide and afraid, and then a glimmer of hope as you realize who he is.
“You came back,” you manage to croak out. Your hand finds his, and he squeezes it tightly.
“I did. I-“ the happiness in your face stuns him. You should hate him. He doesn’t deserve to be welcomed back with such open arms.
“I was in the Elfsong to gather my things.” Before you could get the wrong idea and get hurt, he pushes on. “But I think I knew even as I walked in I’d be here to beg you to let me stay.”
“There’s no need to even ask, love.” Your hand moves to his hand, feeling for the ring. It isn’t there, and you feel a small pang of sadness. “You took it off.”
“Only today,” he says. “The wards fell. I thought you got rid of it, but your ring is still on your finger. I guess it just stopped working when you-“ he swallows past the lump in his thoat. “You- you know.” He couldn’t bring himself to say it.
Noticing his distress, you move your other hand to cup his cheek. “I’m sorry you had to see this. I got clumsy. I was
 I wasn’t at my best.” You look away, embarrassed to admit how much you missed him.
“Darling. No,” he turns your cheek to meet his gaze. “I left you. I broke your heart. All because I was too afraid to see the right path to take. And I wished
 I said terrible things. I would take it back, all of it back. I regretted it as soon as I left the dungeons. But I didn’t think you’d let me back in. If I stayed, maybe you’d be alright. You’d be-“
His words are broken by soft lips that press against his. It was tender, and he couldn’t help but lean into it, kissing back carefully and gently. More tears fell from him, and you thumbed them away. Pulling back, you offer him a kind smile. “I forgave you as you left, love. I get it. It’s just that I missed you a lot.”
“I missed you too.” With those words Astarion finally breaks down, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. He didn’t deserve such tenderness, such love, after what he did. He vowed to do better with your heart, to give what you deserve as well. Not for any other reason than that he wanted to.
He meets your eyes, and he finally lets the words that had been sitting in his chest for ages out. “I love you. I have loved you for a while, darling, I just didn’t know how. I’m not good at this, obviously. I choose the wrong words, do the wrong things, and you still let me back in.”
You chuckle a bit, hands carding through his hair. “That’s because I love you too, idiot.”
You’ve told him that for some time now, accepting that he couldn’t say the same yet. But every time you say it his heart still soars. He captures your lips in yet another kiss.
“Forgive me?”
“Of course. You’ll have to put your ring back on, though. Maybe when I’m more healed, on second thought.”
You bite your lip, frowning.
“Oh. And I might have ruined your camp shirt. Could you fix it for me? Please?”
He puts on a show of pouting and sighing. “If I must. What would you do without me, hm?”
You roll your eyes and tug him close to you. All too quickly, you drift off, finally having a good night’s rest. He watches your face become peaceful, noting the huge bags under your eyes.
Astarion holds you through the night, vowing to never leave your side ever again.
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swansong-art · 10 months ago
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between work kicking my ass I scribbled something so I can live vicariously through Kelyn
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rielzero · 6 months ago
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:( He wanted cuddles.
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